Posted in Archive, March 2016, September

Rushing Out The Door…Dating Disaster Three

This took place about a month ago. I normally don’t get too nervous on dates; I don’t see the point in getting worked up over them. This was the exception to the rule. My nerves however were not because of the guy I was meeting, but due to the fact he did not know that I was ill. It was the first time I had agreed to a date without informing the guy beforehand that I am a walking talking accident waiting to happen.

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Ready for my date

We got off to a great start, sipping cocktails in my favourite bar. The conversation was flowing with ease, we laughed a lot and the odd pause was comfortable. Two hours in I found myself still unable to switch off to the fact he was unaware of my bodies failings. Several drinks later I finally worked up the courage to bring the topic to the table. My words were rushed as I stumbled over a brief synopsis of my conditions, my nerves reaching their peak.

His body language said it all, it was in complete contrast to his words. As I fumbled with my explanation he quickly went from leaning towards me holding my hand, to sitting bolt upright with his hands tightly folded in his lap. I pushed his posture from my mind, telling myself it was probably just due to the slightly uncomfortable nature of the wooden benches we were perched on. A ridiculous thought I know, but it was an easier one to deal with. He muttered a brief acceptance, waving his hands around, reassuring me that it didn’t matter what I had going wrong.

Minutes later, during the first awkward pause of the night, he downed the rest of his drink. Jumping up from the bench, offering to buy another round, he strode off before I could answer. I glanced down into my still half full cocktail, refusing to turn around and watch what I knew was taking place. I may be hopeless at dating but I’m not a fool. Knowing he was rushing out the door I didn’t want to humiliate myself by watching it slam behind him. This isn’t a common reaction, most pretend to be fine with it before cutting off contact, however this is not the first time its has happened. My options where quite obvious I could leave now and head home or I could finish my cocktail alone.

I love cocktails so naturally I stayed and finished it. It may have been an awful date, but hey, why waste a good drink.

Posted in Archive, December

Lasts Nights Fight With My Jaw

At this very moment in time, I feel like my body spent the whole of last night trying to get back at me for writing a positive post yesterday. I had spent the whole of yesterday feeling rather odd, like half my brain was missing and the other half was covered in fog. By the evening my jaw was really playing up, with my dystonia pulling each side of my face in opposite directions, which was agony, this of course then led on to hours of Non Epileptic Seizures. Consequently I have woken up this morning feeling like my body has been run over by a bulldozer and my head been repeatedly hit by a hammer. However on the bright side of things, today my jaw Dystonia is a lot better than yesterday.

I have decided that today I shall completely avoid solid food and only consume softer food such as soup or yoghurt, in an attempt to try and prevent my Jaw from playing up so much, as I really want to be able to enjoy tonight’s New Years Party.

Tomorrow I plan on writing a letter to my consultant, to ask for a date for him to administer my injections and to ask for a plan to be put in place for future injections to be administered. I am hopeful that I shall not have to wait to much longer for these injections, considering he was meant to do them several weeks ago, but failed to give us a date.

I am hoping that the New Year shall be filled with positivity and improvement.