Posted in Archive, February 2022

One day, one minute, one breath.

Each passing minute, moment, breath, feels like a drawn out hour at this time of writing. By Botox was due at the end of January. It was scheduled for April. Thank Lord it was moved to mid March. My medication routine had kept me healthier for longer than I had dared hoped for, but now my little Dystonia alien is kicking my ass with vengeance.

My jaw has been dislocated for a full 24 hours straight now. It has been coming previously on and off before that. The aches in the joint and the building spasms told me all I needed to know. I’d adjusted my food intake to make sure I wasn’t aggreviating it, I was regularly applying heat packs, and doing basic physio stretches. On Tuesdays I sneezed and dislocated the jaw, and it came out again hours later while I was enjoy a nice brew.

I’m extremely lucky that while I was pregnant with Evie at around 9 weeks I got admitted to the gyny ward due to suspect Hyperemesis Gravidarum and kidney infection. The maxfax team came and taught my fiancé how to relocate my jaw to save me living in the A&E department trying to educate the staff. Them taking the time to teach Damon had a life changing impact as it’s dramatically cut down the amount of time I spend in A&E have it manipulated back in place.

The shear strenth of the spasms shock and terrify me. Despite muscle relaxants Dame has struggled to relocate my jaw today. Normally this would mean I need to take a trip up the hospital before it becomes worse. But honestly I don’t want to go. I know the drill, they’try twice, when it fails they send me by ambulance to Aintrree, the med students try and fail, I get scheduled for surgery, and then Dr. Godcomplex cancel the surgery because he doesn’t believe in Dystonia or EDS.

If you’ve made it this far through my foggy ramblings! Congrats 👏

Left on Sunday where spasms were ok. Right is today

Posted in Archive, January 2022, September

Day to Day Management

No day is ever the same when living with chronic illness. The routine may be vaguely the same but each day revolves around adapting to what symptoms are presenting that day and the severity of them in the moment. What may be rather bad in the morning may be insignificant in comparison to another symptom by midday

A good example of this is today. Sundays are always our family rest days. We go to church, sometimes have family to us but generally speaking we are at home together. Now I was already shattered after a bad night sleep with nerve pain in lower right leg and lower back pain. However upon getting up my neck spasm started pulling my head down towards my shoulder. It’s a particularly nasty spasm that’s hard to break. I have a percriped Aspen collar for when my neck does which I alternate with wearing a TENS unit and a heat pack.

Picture of me ready for church wearing my Aspen collar to been help support and straighten my neck

I’ve not had to wear this collar in a while. The overly nervous me did my best to disguise it with a scarf as we sent out for church. It deffinently took some getting used to wearing it out and about and learning to ignore the second glances once again. But it’s worth to help ease off the painful spasms somewhat.

Off to church. Scarf ‘hiding’ my neck support

My Botox appointment is extremely late this time round having being schedule for almost six months instead of three. Whilst I’m hoping for a cancilation to come up, I am in the mean time going to ask my general practitioner to allow me to my Trihexyphenidyl untill I’ve had my injections

Posted in Archive, December 2020

What’s In Your Flare Box

The concept of a flare box is one that I didn’t properly venture into untill I attended the Stanmore Inpatient Pain Management course back in early 2016. It was really impressed on me that this was something that could impact my pain management. As soon as I got home I set about setting it up. Almost five years on and I still use these! In fact I have one in my bedroom and a second one by my desk downstairs so that they’ll always be accessible when needed.

A flare is generally considered to be a worsening of symptoms over a fair length of time e.g a week to a month or so. This is in comparison to just having a bad day or two of symptoms, then reducing to your normal levels.

My two boxes differ slightly and reflect the area of the house I’m in. My upstairs box contains several TENs units and chargers, multiple wheat heat packs, a symptom diary and pen so I can write down anything that I think may be important to remember to tell my drs, some volterol cream, neck brace and various other splints for dislocations, earphones, lavender pillow spray, and some books.

My downstairs box has all of the above but it also has some cue cards for if I’ve struggling to physically talk, so I can just flash these up instead; these have my most used phrases on e.g please can you fill up my flask? Please can you reheat my wheat pack? It also contains some electrolyte water soluble tablets for if it’s my POTS is also worsened.

Everyone’s flare kits differ depending on what they feel they need in the flare, and my deffinently have evolved over time. For example right now both have spare socks added to them as I know cold feet induces spasms for me. So in winter some extra warming bits are a must. Plus five years ago I wasnt a mum, so there also contained a notepad with a list of easy binging Netflix show, a stash of free from chocolate and anything else that cheered me up.

Let me know in the comments if you use one!

Posted in Archive, march 2020, September

Isolation Week 2

Although I only received my instructions to isolate myself for the next 12 weeks from the government on Monday, we had infact already been in isolation for a week as both myself and my partner Damon bad been symptomatic. Whilst I’m pretty much symptom free now, Dame is still locked away upstairs as he remains unwell. Whilst he would only be considered a mild case, it’s worrying none the less.

We decided early on that we would follow all instructions to the letter as we know how risky a simple cold to me can be. The symptoms I had last week had me reaching for my inhalers constantly. What hit home in particular for me was our two year old son is also on the shielding list due to his medical issues. Luckiky, as much as he desperately wants to go to the park, he’s quiet happy accepting, that there’s a nasty bug outside, so for now he can’t.

It’s hard however to follow the governments instructions when my partners in isolation. For example I’m not really supposed to be particularly near our children and supposed to be three steps away from everyone. Well with Damon isolated I’m the sole parent, and they are now both sleeping in our room. There’s no alternative. But we’ve got to make the best out of a bad situation.

I’m starting to experience more spasms and pain as my Botox wears off. My next lot is supposedly in London at the end of next Month which I’m expecting to be canacled. I’m hoping an alternative can be arranged at a local hospital in the meantime.

I would love to hear how everyone’s isolation is going. So please in the comments on my Facebook page do let me know. I’m aiming to keep this isolation diary updated daily either with blogs here or VLOGS on the Dystonia and Me page.

Stay inside. Stay Safe. Support our NHS.

Posted in Archive, March 2014

Oromandibular Dystonia

Since last Friday my Oromandibular (jaw) Dystonia and tremor has been rather bad. These spasms leave my jaw extremely distorted and the pain is constant. Unfortunately my Botox is a week later than usual, my appointment is not until the 18th of this month. Even though I know it is just under two weeks to go now, I am finding it hard to function due to pain.

However there is always a positive and I refuse to let this be a purely negative blog post. Despite the spasms that were severely affecting my jaw and neck last Friday I still managed to get into college. I cut down my workload as I knew it would not realistically get done without exhausting my body, but I managed to get in, which surprised me as I did not expect to in the state I was in.

It never ceases to amaze me just how exhausting pain is. Today my jaw has insisted on tremoring a lot. I use a teething dummy to protect my teeth and tongue, at the end of my last tremor however I was not quick enough at removing the teething dummy from my mouth, with the way my jaw then spasmed it got slightly stuck…I cannot even begin to describe how much this amused me, it took a whole hour before I was able to pry the dummy out from between my teeth. It really was hilarious.

It is moments like these that are vital. Dystonia is hideous. The pain that I am going through on a daily basis is enough that all I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep until I can get my Botox injections. But sleeping won’t raise awareness of the condition, hiding away won’t beat the condition. Moments of pure hilarity are part of what makes Dystonia bearable and I am so thankful for these moments!

Posted in Archive, October 2013

Fantastic Neurology Appointment

This afternoon I was up in London seeing my lovely neurologist. As usual I went armed with lots of questions. I feel very blessed that I see such a lovely man, who listens to everything I have to say. His manner is very calming, I hate needles, but his calm attitude puts me at complete ease, I would never let anyone else stick so many injections in me. I was excited to see him and to show him how much progress I have made with creating my life around my symptoms.

We went through all my queries before my injections and he was so helpful with each one. He is going to write to my GP explaining that I need the IV antibiotics for Lyme Disease, I am relieved he has agreed to do this as it means I do not have to argue with my GP about it. I have a severe intolerance to Lactose, which unfortunately all but one of medications contain. At first this was fine as my body was coping with the small amount, but now that it has slowly built up in system my body is reacting and is making my other medical conditions, e.g IBS, worse. The most annoying issue with it is that no matter how much time I sleep for I wake up feeling like I never went to sleep and I find it hard to keep going in the days, my neurologist has offered to get the pharmacy at the hospital to look into alternatives for me. This would make such a big difference. We have also juggled around my next two appointment to make sure that my jaw is in working order for Christmas and my 21st birthday.

We spoke about my functional paralysis and agreed that in a way it was positive as it was less disruptive to life, although it is not ideal. There is not much I can do other than take pain killers and try to stimulate the part that is paralysed in attempt to disrupt the incorrect signals that are being sent – this has not worked yet but I shall keep trying. I had my eyes, jaw and neck injected with Botox so my spasms shall continue to my kept in check and my jaw tremor should soon settle down for a few weeks.

It was a fantastic appointment. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful neurologist looking after me.